Don't you send me to vm
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
