sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
