I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize