So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
