would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
