hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
