There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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