I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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