you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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