We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize