Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
