I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize