My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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