I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How external is "for external use only"?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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