he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
