No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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