We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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