erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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