Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm at about main and main street
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
