he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
