Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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