Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
