Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
