made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
