BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Rumble strips road head = magical
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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