we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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