what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
