I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize