I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
