How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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