first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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