Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
