can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
