that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
