I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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