Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i now understand why vodka
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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