Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
