do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
