This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize