That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
