I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
