get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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