at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
3pm strippers are depressing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize