you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
