i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
