i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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