doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Screwed.edu
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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