i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize