so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
