Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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