I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
