i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
