Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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