He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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