do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
