His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
