And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
