My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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