Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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