i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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