I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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