walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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