And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
