Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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